Lime Juice, 2 am
Rain clean as a yellow tiger.Sea surface like a woman'smake-up glass. A derelictpost office on a sand bar. Girl in a raincoat smoking a Gauloise, a poem byAndre Breton, teeth whiteas cherry orchard,...
View ArticleRe: Lime Juice, 2 am
berniehenrie wrote:Rain clean as a yellow tiger. sea surface like a woman's make-up glass. SMOOTH-NO WIND-SUN REFLECTING A derelict post office on a sand bar. Girl in a raincoat WAS RAIN FORCASTE ?...
View ArticleRe: Lime Juice, 2 am
A---thanks. yes, suggestions welcomed for a final line, final verse.
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the weather man says I’ve seen the last of you but he was flying east.
View ArticleRe: Lime Juice, 2 am
Hi Bernie,So great to see a poem by you back on the board. Justa few thoughts for you.You have a period after tiger in S1 so Sea should probably becapitalized.In S2, I feel as if the poem phrase is...
View ArticleRe: Lime Juice, 2 am
Nice to see you, Bernie, I thought the girl smoking the cigarette was a poem by Andre Breton and found the original "Lime Juice" - it gives context to the story you are telling:Rain streaks the casino...
View ArticleRe: Lime Juice, 2 am
Hi Bernie, I hope all is going well in your recovery, glad to see you back on the board. I hope to post something today or tomorrow. I miss much of the detail in the original version, but greatly...
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It works works well Bernie. Two typos- as a fire eater, and no i in tomorrow.
View ArticleRe: Lime Juice, 2 am
The first line is a poem all by itself! I have read it a dozen times or more. I enjoyed seeing the two versions and like the revision a lot. Yes, it does work well.
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